Monday, June 1, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Now
How can life get so bad?
I am not happy,
not happy at all.
I can't even find any motivation to do anything. It's like the ground has turned to quicksand and I am so overwhelmed that I don't even try to struggle. I've tried things that I liked doing, I went to take photos but they did not turn out nice and that to me is downright depressing. Also being continuously pounded by a lack of finances to do anything really bothers me. Worst of all I'm am constantly taunted by the fact that I will always be poor if I don't get a degree. Even then, I would only be middle income. Singapore is difficult, it is really difficult. The extent of the depression in my life now has reached a point that I am looking forward to the army. To be away from everything, and the 2 years of army also mean that I am free from 2 years of constantly worrying that I will be poor for the rest of my life. I always say that I want to be really really rich in the future, and that seems really shallow and extremely secular but being poor really sucks, having just enough to get by is actually not enough at all, because getting by is not enough. I need a change in heart, I need to stop needing. I need to start a business.
I am not happy,
not happy at all.
I can't even find any motivation to do anything. It's like the ground has turned to quicksand and I am so overwhelmed that I don't even try to struggle. I've tried things that I liked doing, I went to take photos but they did not turn out nice and that to me is downright depressing. Also being continuously pounded by a lack of finances to do anything really bothers me. Worst of all I'm am constantly taunted by the fact that I will always be poor if I don't get a degree. Even then, I would only be middle income. Singapore is difficult, it is really difficult. The extent of the depression in my life now has reached a point that I am looking forward to the army. To be away from everything, and the 2 years of army also mean that I am free from 2 years of constantly worrying that I will be poor for the rest of my life. I always say that I want to be really really rich in the future, and that seems really shallow and extremely secular but being poor really sucks, having just enough to get by is actually not enough at all, because getting by is not enough. I need a change in heart, I need to stop needing. I need to start a business.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
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